The poem is a form and a shape
_____it minces _____ and mances
all
_____over
_________the
______________place
Is it made of mere lines,
a prosey rose of poesy?
Containing petalled rhymes
________so predictable
that your heart feels cozy?
____no!
___it
__is
____astonishingly
_exclamatory!
__________I bet that the human gaze
__loves to
_______waddle in____my___spaced out
______glory
___!
Why are these
words
?
__________over here?
___But
______not
___here
______or
________...
____....
_______uh oh
_____________...
_________...
fiddlesticks______my words fell off
... It was too energetic and now they're all lost
Perhaps the visual excitement was too much to take
And now my affogato poem is just a baked prose cake
_________tasty...
____!
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Scripted.
[White letters fade into view over a pitch black landscape]
The Dawn Mammoth presents...
Directed by that guy who did Memento. That was a cool movie.
Produced by a bunch of people with more money than cents. Aha.
... Inspired by true events. ...
[Cut to an overhead shot of me]
[Zoom and track at the same time to do the freaky effect into my head]
[Amazing special effects as the camera enters into my mind]
[Shot of a monkey running on a treadmill]
The monkey takes a cigarette out of his mouth
[Voiced by Sir Anthony Hopkins]Monkey: I really do protest at smoking these ghastly things
[Voice from off camera - Nicholas Cage]Voice: Well. you see. With the whole thing including those ghastly things that you are, in fact, smoking right now, then we are, as it happens, going full circle, right now and again, aren't we?
[Cut to closeup of monkey's face, he is beginning to sweat]
Monkey: You are also ghastly.
[Cut to voice - it is a scientist in a long white coat]
Scientist: I know. Smiles like Nicholas Cage. It's what they pay me for.
[Cut to lab door opening, Jessica Biel walks in as the lab assistant. She is holding a vial containing a glowing red chemical]
Assistant: Here is that dangerous chemical that you wanted that would be hugely disastrous for humanity if the monkey got ahold of it.
[Cut to ECU of monkeys pupils dilating]
[Cut to long shot of Scientist and Assistant]
Scientist: Thank you, assistant. And might I say, you look nothing like any female assistant I have ever had. It's not even that feasible.
Assistant: I will take that as a compliment.
Scientist: Shut up. You are talking too much. Just stand there and be quiet.
[Cut to midshot of assistant]
Scientist: Good. Now, I also wanted to say that from some angles, your face looks weird. I just wanted to let you know that.
[Sound of the treadmill slowing]
[Cut to Scientist]
Scientist turns to treadmill.
[Cut to treadmill... there is no monkey on it.]
[Scientist is now Morgan Freeman. ... Continuity knows what it can go do to itself, so I don't need to tell it.] Scientist: My god...
[Cut to Assistants hands, they are empty]Scientist: Where is the vial?[The light's flicker, then explode.]
[Screen goes to black]
Scientist: You have doomed us all!
[Sounds of monkey screeching and screams from the humans. Then the humans go silent]
...
[White titles come onto the screen...] ... The Vial ... [the words fade]
Then there's the establishment of some young hot characters and they go on an adventure and stuff happens.
We will pick it up around an hour and a half through the film...
Young male hottie [One of them ones with silly fringes]: We have failed in our task to stop the monkey.
Young female hottie [But not so hot that she can't act. Yeah. You know who you are.]: At least we have the memories of that night we spent together in slow motion with the orange filter on the camera so we looked really tanned.
Young male hottie: Yea... about that night... there's something I have to tell you.
Young female hottie: What is it?
[Cut to close-up of young male hottie]
Young male hottie: I've been infected with the vial.
[Cut to closeup of young female hottie]
Young female hottie: Nooooooooooo!
[Cut back to long shot]
Young male hottie: All that is left now is to name the disease...
Young female hottie: How about...
Young male hottie interrupts.
Young male hottie: Shut up. You have done far too much talking. I shall call it...
[Zoom in on young male hottie]
Young male hottie: ...AIDS.
Fade to black....
Roll credits.
Receive OSCARs.
The Dawn Mammoth presents...
Directed by that guy who did Memento. That was a cool movie.
Produced by a bunch of people with more money than cents. Aha.
... Inspired by true events. ...
[Cut to an overhead shot of me]
[Zoom and track at the same time to do the freaky effect into my head]
[Amazing special effects as the camera enters into my mind]
[Shot of a monkey running on a treadmill]
The monkey takes a cigarette out of his mouth
[Voiced by Sir Anthony Hopkins]Monkey: I really do protest at smoking these ghastly things
[Voice from off camera - Nicholas Cage]Voice: Well. you see. With the whole thing including those ghastly things that you are, in fact, smoking right now, then we are, as it happens, going full circle, right now and again, aren't we?
[Cut to closeup of monkey's face, he is beginning to sweat]
Monkey: You are also ghastly.
[Cut to voice - it is a scientist in a long white coat]
Scientist: I know. Smiles like Nicholas Cage. It's what they pay me for.
[Cut to lab door opening, Jessica Biel walks in as the lab assistant. She is holding a vial containing a glowing red chemical]
Assistant: Here is that dangerous chemical that you wanted that would be hugely disastrous for humanity if the monkey got ahold of it.
[Cut to ECU of monkeys pupils dilating]
[Cut to long shot of Scientist and Assistant]
Scientist: Thank you, assistant. And might I say, you look nothing like any female assistant I have ever had. It's not even that feasible.
Assistant: I will take that as a compliment.
Scientist: Shut up. You are talking too much. Just stand there and be quiet.
[Cut to midshot of assistant]
Scientist: Good. Now, I also wanted to say that from some angles, your face looks weird. I just wanted to let you know that.
[Sound of the treadmill slowing]
[Cut to Scientist]
Scientist turns to treadmill.
[Cut to treadmill... there is no monkey on it.]
[Scientist is now Morgan Freeman. ... Continuity knows what it can go do to itself, so I don't need to tell it.] Scientist: My god...
[Cut to Assistants hands, they are empty]Scientist: Where is the vial?[The light's flicker, then explode.]
[Screen goes to black]
Scientist: You have doomed us all!
[Sounds of monkey screeching and screams from the humans. Then the humans go silent]
...
[White titles come onto the screen...] ... The Vial ... [the words fade]
Then there's the establishment of some young hot characters and they go on an adventure and stuff happens.
We will pick it up around an hour and a half through the film...
Young male hottie [One of them ones with silly fringes]: We have failed in our task to stop the monkey.
Young female hottie [But not so hot that she can't act. Yeah. You know who you are.]: At least we have the memories of that night we spent together in slow motion with the orange filter on the camera so we looked really tanned.
Young male hottie: Yea... about that night... there's something I have to tell you.
Young female hottie: What is it?
[Cut to close-up of young male hottie]
Young male hottie: I've been infected with the vial.
[Cut to closeup of young female hottie]
Young female hottie: Nooooooooooo!
[Cut back to long shot]
Young male hottie: All that is left now is to name the disease...
Young female hottie: How about...
Young male hottie interrupts.
Young male hottie: Shut up. You have done far too much talking. I shall call it...
[Zoom in on young male hottie]
Young male hottie: ...AIDS.
Fade to black....
Roll credits.
Receive OSCARs.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Outstanding in the rain
The music stopped when I got the text on my phone
And then there came a knock at the door
As the thunder gutter-balled noise over my home
The coincidence was too much to ignore
The lights flick flicked like a cricket guitar-pick
Then wind troubled curtains like Jesus troubled the sinned
With the smell of fried bacon... Which was misguided and mistaken
Just as static pins of electricity tweaked my erratic skin
When I flapped my wings, it was just the one time.
I swear.
And then there came a knock at the door
As the thunder gutter-balled noise over my home
The coincidence was too much to ignore
The lights flick flicked like a cricket guitar-pick
Then wind troubled curtains like Jesus troubled the sinned
With the smell of fried bacon... Which was misguided and mistaken
Just as static pins of electricity tweaked my erratic skin
When I flapped my wings, it was just the one time.
I swear.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Pantoum-ine
Arising from the sea came a huge horde of zombies
The invasion began, taking on Covesea flats
Inside the building, they dressed in Fitch and Abercrombie
Demmy led the charge to turn zombies into splats
The invasion began taking on Covesea flats
On the lobby floor was where the battle waged
Demmy led the charge to turn zombies into splats
But they were no match for the relentless rampage
On the lobby floor was where the battle waged
The undead fought hard against broken tables and kegs
But they were no match for the relentless rampage
The waves of zombies were cut down by tablelegs
The undead fought hard against broken tables and kegs
Demmy shouted her rallying cry, "Into the shadows!"
The waves of zombies were cut down by tablelegs
They shaked and shuddered and walked to the windows
Demmy shouted her rallying cry into the shadows,
Inside the building, they dressed in Fitch and Abercrombie
They shaked and shuddered and walked to the windows...
Arising from the sea came a huge horde of zombies
The invasion began, taking on Covesea flats
Inside the building, they dressed in Fitch and Abercrombie
Demmy led the charge to turn zombies into splats
The invasion began taking on Covesea flats
On the lobby floor was where the battle waged
Demmy led the charge to turn zombies into splats
But they were no match for the relentless rampage
On the lobby floor was where the battle waged
The undead fought hard against broken tables and kegs
But they were no match for the relentless rampage
The waves of zombies were cut down by tablelegs
The undead fought hard against broken tables and kegs
Demmy shouted her rallying cry, "Into the shadows!"
The waves of zombies were cut down by tablelegs
They shaked and shuddered and walked to the windows
Demmy shouted her rallying cry into the shadows,
Inside the building, they dressed in Fitch and Abercrombie
They shaked and shuddered and walked to the windows...
Arising from the sea came a huge horde of zombies
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
The Silt Grain Trio
Deep deep down in the very depths of the sea
Is a squat pile of rock silt, that moves in groups of three
Some very brainy grain detaches with two friends
And wanders over hills, going ‘round bends
They pip and they holler and make shocking noise
These little silt grains pound their loudest toys
They bash and bang and they clash and clang
With their jingling jammers and their trumpeting tang
Up and down the sea-streets where the gubberfish live
The ‘silt grain trio’ got up to mischief
‘We’re bored!’ cried One.
‘We’re hungry!’ cried Two.
So One made some fun,
And Two stole some food.
‘Come back with my pie,’ grumpy Flub Gubberfish yelled.
‘Stop nicking my pastries with your tangs and your bells!’
The silty boys scarpered like salt in sea breeze
All the way to their hideout in the continental-drift-trees
‘Have some of my pie!’
‘I don’t mind if I do!’
One widened his eyes
At a big slice from Two
Three gave a sad sigh.
‘Hey Three! What’s wrong with you?’
‘It doesn’t excite me at all, my tang is quite bangless,
I don’t like shaking my jammer or robbing the fangless
Both of you silts, One and Two, are crude and rude
And when you sit down to eat, you don’t chew your food.’
‘We can change our ways and be nice to the fishes.’
‘We could bake them some muffins and wash their dishes.’
One and Two each had such a good look on their face,
Three couldn’t keep up with their change of pace
The silt-gang hideout became a ‘help the elderly’ base
Where they organised the bimonthly Gubberfish race
One, ‘What a change of heart!’
Two, ‘We are the real winners,’
‘When we die and depart,
We can ditch the sinners.’
‘Three is quite right, this is our heavenly ticket.’
‘When we kick the bucket, St. Peter can stick it.’
‘Our free pass past the angelic gates.’
‘Good deeds mean we sweeten our fates!’
‘Then with great celestial howls as we jingle our jammers,’
‘And with Jesusy bellows when we crash with our hammers,’
‘We’ll make lots of racket and wake demons in hell...’
‘Running all through the streets and banging our bells.’
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Animal Antics? You'd think so, but you'd be wrong.
There is something whimsical in the way in which humans percieve animals.
There is an instant instinct [an instanct] to anthropomorphise every creature.
From researching cartoons, this involves:
1) All animals must use hind legs for balance and all other limbs as arms. (Unexplainable exception: Elephants.)
2) All animals must wear some form of clothing. Pants are usually not necessary. The bounds of a logical mind cannot accept jeans that fit a duck. (Again, elephants not included in this rule)
3) All animals must have some incredible superpower that is perfectly acceptable because they are animals. (Pretty sure elephants would flaunt this rule as if it were a bag of peanuts poking precociously from an unwary jacket pocket). But importantly, is completely made up.
Chameleons don't change colour to blend in with their surroundings.
That is quite disappointing news.
Ostriches have never stuck their heads in sand to avoid danger.
Never.
Not even one ostrich has done it once.
Opossums don't hang off branches using their tails.
To summarise, animals are far less interesting than anyone wants to believe.
To put this summary another way, people make animals far more entertaining than they actually are.
Apart from Barbar. That elephant conforms to my hyptothesises in ways that make me feel uncomfortable. That is a weird green suit, Mr. Barbar.
Also, on an unrelated note, taking light-shades off every bulb in a room makes you feel naked. Through some strange visual perception transpatial over-identification, I believe.
Finally, on a positive note, touching a baby bird won't cover it in some strange cursed human scent that forces it to be rejected by its mother.
There is an instant instinct [an instanct] to anthropomorphise every creature.
From researching cartoons, this involves:
1) All animals must use hind legs for balance and all other limbs as arms. (Unexplainable exception: Elephants.)
2) All animals must wear some form of clothing. Pants are usually not necessary. The bounds of a logical mind cannot accept jeans that fit a duck. (Again, elephants not included in this rule)
3) All animals must have some incredible superpower that is perfectly acceptable because they are animals. (Pretty sure elephants would flaunt this rule as if it were a bag of peanuts poking precociously from an unwary jacket pocket). But importantly, is completely made up.
Chameleons don't change colour to blend in with their surroundings.
That is quite disappointing news.
Ostriches have never stuck their heads in sand to avoid danger.
Never.
Not even one ostrich has done it once.
Opossums don't hang off branches using their tails.
To summarise, animals are far less interesting than anyone wants to believe.
To put this summary another way, people make animals far more entertaining than they actually are.
Apart from Barbar. That elephant conforms to my hyptothesises in ways that make me feel uncomfortable. That is a weird green suit, Mr. Barbar.
Also, on an unrelated note, taking light-shades off every bulb in a room makes you feel naked. Through some strange visual perception transpatial over-identification, I believe.
Finally, on a positive note, touching a baby bird won't cover it in some strange cursed human scent that forces it to be rejected by its mother.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Balloon.
Want to see a balloon flying away in the wind.
Would you like to see it now? I will draw it right now, right here:
Q
It's flying away to somewhere up and left. Australia maybe. Singapore? Germany, perhaps.
Mein Balloon fliegt nach Deutschland. Aber ist nicht neunundneunzig.
After it flies past the northern hemisphere, it will continue up and left, and go past the moon.
It will look like this:
__O <Moon [Not to scale]
____Q <Balloon [Extremely to scale]
Then it will fly away past the moon and into the stars.
And it will look like this:
____.____._
___._______..________
_______.________._____.
___________Q_______
Would you like to see it now? I will draw it right now, right here:
Q
It's flying away to somewhere up and left. Australia maybe. Singapore? Germany, perhaps.
Mein Balloon fliegt nach Deutschland. Aber ist nicht neunundneunzig.
After it flies past the northern hemisphere, it will continue up and left, and go past the moon.
It will look like this:
__O <Moon [Not to scale]
____Q <Balloon [Extremely to scale]
Then it will fly away past the moon and into the stars.
And it will look like this:
____.____._
___._______..________
_______.________._____.
___________Q_______
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