Scripted.

[White letters fade into view over a pitch black landscape]

The Dawn Mammoth presents...

Directed by that guy who did Memento. That was a cool movie.

Produced by a bunch of people with more money than cents. Aha.

... Inspired by true events. ...

[Cut to an overhead shot of me]
[Zoom and track at the same time to do the freaky effect into my head]
[Amazing special effects as the camera enters into my mind]

[Shot of a monkey running on a treadmill]

The monkey takes a cigarette out of his mouth
[Voiced by Sir Anthony Hopkins]Monkey: I really do protest at smoking these ghastly things

[Voice from off camera - Nicholas Cage]Voice: Well. you see. With the whole thing including those ghastly things that you are, in fact, smoking right now, then we are, as it happens, going full circle, right now and again, aren't we?
[Cut to closeup of monkey's face, he is beginning to sweat]
Monkey: You are also ghastly.
[Cut to voice - it is a scientist in a long white coat]
Scientist: I know. Smiles like Nicholas Cage. It's what they pay me for.
[Cut to lab door opening, Jessica Biel walks in as the lab assistant. She is holding a vial containing a glowing red chemical]
Assistant: Here is that dangerous chemical that you wanted that would be hugely disastrous for humanity if the monkey got ahold of it.
[Cut to ECU of monkeys pupils dilating]
[Cut to long shot of Scientist and Assistant]
Scientist: Thank you, assistant. And might I say, you look nothing like any female assistant I have ever had. It's not even that feasible.
Assistant: I will take that as a compliment.
Scientist: Shut up. You are talking too much. Just stand there and be quiet.
[Cut to midshot of assistant]
Scientist: Good. Now, I also wanted to say that from some angles, your face looks weird. I just wanted to let you know that.
[Sound of the treadmill slowing]
[Cut to Scientist]
Scientist turns to treadmill.
[Cut to treadmill... there is no monkey on it.]
[Scientist is now Morgan Freeman. ... Continuity knows what it can go do to itself, so I don't need to tell it.] Scientist: My god...
[Cut to Assistants hands, they are empty]Scientist: Where is the vial?[The light's flicker, then explode.]
[Screen goes to black]
Scientist: You have doomed us all!
[Sounds of monkey screeching and screams from the humans. Then the humans go silent]
...
[White titles come onto the screen...] ... The Vial ... [the words fade]

Then there's the establishment of some young hot characters and they go on an adventure and stuff happens.
We will pick it up around an hour and a half through the film...

Young male hottie [One of them ones with silly fringes]: We have failed in our task to stop the monkey.
Young female hottie [But not so hot that she can't act. Yeah. You know who you are.]: At least we have the memories of that night we spent together in slow motion with the orange filter on the camera so we looked really tanned.
Young male hottie: Yea... about that night... there's something I have to tell you.
Young female hottie: What is it?
[Cut to close-up of young male hottie]
Young male hottie: I've been infected with the vial.
[Cut to closeup of young female hottie]
Young female hottie: Nooooooooooo!
[Cut back to long shot]
Young male hottie: All that is left now is to name the disease...
Young female hottie: How about...
Young male hottie interrupts.
Young male hottie: Shut up. You have done far too much talking. I shall call it...
[Zoom in on young male hottie]
Young male hottie: ...AIDS.

Fade to black....

Roll credits.

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